What is Unconditional Love?

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While Valentine’s day is the day that most people feel pressured to express their love to their significant other, we forget the importance of showing our love and gratitude to our loved ones every single day of our lives. You never know when our time is up. Life is short. Become a positive bundle of love to your friends, your family, your community, your country, the world… It all starts with unconditional love. When you tap into this infinite source you will see that there is no limit to the extend that love can be given. Imagine what the world would be like if people were more concerned about how much they give, rather than how much they can get.

Mass mind programming to live with a closed heart

Love is so misunderstood in our today’s society. Love has been perverted and polluted with the hyper-sexualization and a misrepresentation of it in magazines, tabloids, Hollywood movies, music videos, main-stream media. We all seem to have been programmed to think of love in a certain way. We have a tendency to accept whatever that has been fed into our minds as our reality. And when this illusionary perception of love that has been presented and suggested to us, is not matching with our reality, we tend to give up on love. We then build a huge wall around our hearts and are afraid to open it again out of fear to get (emotionally) hurt again.

Nowadays, lots of people are living their lives with a closed heart. And perhaps this was exactly the intention for the mass mind programming that is taking place. When the heart is closed, it’s easier to control the mind. The closed-heart-syndrome is a collective problem. We have become secluded and are shying away from sharing loving interactions with the world around us. Love is not just something we should share with our friends and families but with all living beings.

The fact that we have closed our hearts towards all that is around us, has contributed to feeling a sense of division and individuality. We have forgotten to breath as a unified body. To collaborate and work together to unify mankind for a greater purpose and move evolution forward – not backward.

Unconditional Love vs conditional love

Love is like diamond. It has numerous facets and a diversity of colors. No matter how you look at it, from which side, angle or perspective, it is still one and the same diamond. Yet it can be experienced in so many different ways and on so many different levels.

Love can be an attraction to another human being. Love can be passion and desire. Love can be romance. Love can be tender. Love can be caring for your friends and family. Love can be an adventure. Love can be a challenge. But no matter how we experience love, there is a significant difference between conditional and unconditional love.

While conditional love is selfish, materialistic, superficial, limited, conditioned by expectations and the desire to receive – blinded by the myth that attention is equivalent to love – unconditional love is there to give infinitely regardless of the level of struggle and discomfort you or your loved one(s) are going through. Conditional love can only come from a lack of love and it is usually born from pain and suffering or a bad previous experience that has damaged you. But unconditional love on the other hand, is always established from a place of completeness and feeling a sense of wholeness and worthiness within oneself. Relationships that carry that foundation of unconditional love are always infinite, invincible and unbreakable. If they are not, well, then it’s simply not unconditional love.

Testing your level of Unconditional Love

It’s easy to love when circumstances are perfect. But here are a few questions you should ask yourself: Can you love your significant other when things aren’t so great? Will you or your partner be there during good times and bad times? Can you love your significant other when they are angry or upset with you? Can you love them when they have hurt you or disappointed you? Can you love them when there is suffering or when something unfortunate happens? Can you let your loved one go if you know this is the best for them? Or are you so addicted to their presence that you think you can’t live without them? And is it the person you will miss or their status and possessions or perhaps the attention they gave you?

Look, it’s easy to love when someone is nice to us. When we receive. When we get gifts and presents from our significant other. Or when he or she says those three magic words we all die to hear. We measure love by the amount of “getting”. But this is conditional love. It has nothing to do with the other person, but it has everything to do with you. This limited way of loving will inevitably lead to a dead end. It can only exist temporarily. Because no human being can fill the emptiness that we feel within ourselves (which is truly a lack of self-love). It will just ends up in tears because you were let down by your expectations.

How conditional love develops

Love is such a misunderstood concept. We think that love is when we get attention from the person we think we love. But if we feel we need to receive a confirmation that we are worthy enough to be loved it simply means you have not fully embraced loving yourself. The truth is that nobody else but you can make you happy. Your significant other can only contribute in making you happier. But instead of waiting for the other person to make you whole, seek what you are missing within yourself. You will always attract the amount of love that you give. So if you come from a place of expectations, of seeking for a confirmation or validation, we come from a place of lack. And when we come from a place of lack we will inevitably have to seek something or someone to fill us up again. But we forget in that moment that we are the ones that carry that responsibility to make us whole again ourselves. The truth is no one else but you can complete you. Your significant other can only complement you.

When you come from a place of giving without expecting anything in return, you have the best chances of succeeding and of not getting hurt or disappointed again. In fact it will only inspire your loved one to give back even more. Love like a mother would love her child. The bond is unbreakable because that’s when we recognize the other soul as our own. The thing is, every other living being that we encounter is a reflection of who we are. There is no difference between us besides our outer features. But on the inside, we all want to live. We all want to be loved. We all want to be recognized. We all want to respected. When you are becoming more emerged in giving to the other person without expecting anything in return, you will find the love we all have been desperate to find.

Seek out the goodness

Be more interested in giving than receiving. Be the love you wish to see in the world. We can then experience love on a completely different level that transcends anything in our world of human existence if we simply open our hearts to unconditional love again. And yes, it takes a lot of courage to do that. Unconditional love is only for those that are brave enough to let go of their past hurts and are willing to be patient and to infinitely forgive without looking back. Because nobody is perfect. And you can’t expect the other person to change. We are all learning at our own pace and with that we are going to make mistakes. Which inevitably leads to hurting others and getting hurt ourselves. But if you decide to play it safe, you will never be able to experience the beauty of true love.

Try to always see the good in the other person even when they are not capable of showing it for a moment. It does not mean that the other person can walk over you or misuse your goodness, it simply means that you are strong enough to love yourself first and to wholeheartedly be there, holding the space, for your loved one until they are ready to love themselves again too.

Grown apart from each other?

And if the time comes that you are no longer growing together but that you have grown apart from each other, that’s okay too. Simply be grateful for the lessons you have learned from each other and every second you have spend together. Forgive each other for the hurt that has been caused and let each other go with the blessing to live to your happiest fullest potential. If something doesn’t work out don’t be upset about it, celebrate it, because it means that there is something far more better waiting for you. But if you keep holding on to the past, you won’t be able to receive the future.

I know all of this is easier said than done. But look on positive side, you still have the rest of your life to get the hang of this. I just wish you that you will find the courage to give and experience unconditional love from this day forward. I’m curious to hear from you: what does unconditional love mean to you? Let me know in the comments section down below.

And remember: Be the Light you wish to see in the world.

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